The Adoption Triangle — And Where Healing Really Begins
- Tammy Waldron
- 15 minutes ago
- 2 min read
Hi friend,
In the world of adoption, every side of the triangle carries a truth:
A biological mother navigating impossible choices.
An adoptive mother holding dreams of family.
Turning Inward
And the adoptee—often the quietest and most misunderstood part of the story.
Growing up, I heard things like:
“You were loved so much she gave you away.”
“You were chosen.”
“A gift from Heaven.”
Well-intended… but also a way to deflect and avoid the truth of my experience.
And in time, those conversations became gaslighting.
When I recently shared part of my story with a high-level coach (an adoptive mother and
former therapist), she responded:
“That’s not trauma.”
But adoption is complicated.
And here’s what I know now:
Your truth doesn’t erase mine.
And mine doesn’t erase yours.
As a child, I learned to swallow my pain to protect my adoptive mom.
I became who others needed me to be.
And somewhere along the way, the stories woven around me shifted internally to:
“You’re lucky to be alive.”
“Be grateful you weren’t aborted.”
“Be grateful you weren’t kept.”
These weren’t truths.
They were protection—people trying to make sense of their side of the triangle.
And this dynamic?
It exists in ALL relationships.
RESTORE: Releasing the Past and Healing the Heart
Two (or three) people.
Each with their own truth.
Each protecting their perspective.
Each triggered by the other’s experience.
It mirrors the Drama Triangle—victim, rescuer, persecutor—patterns we fall into not because we’re broken, but because we’re human.
Healing begins when we step out of the cycle…
when we center ourselves…
when we allow multiple truths to coexist.
Do you know your center?
Where can you soften enough to witness someone else’s truth—without abandoning your
own?
That is where healing begins.
Step Forward with an Open Heart
If you feel called to go deeper, join my free Healing Circle on the first Friday of each month at 1 PM EST. It’s a space for healing, connection, and expansion—because you don’t have to navigate this alone.
💛 You are here for a reason. The world needs your light, your truth, and your gifts—now more than ever.
Are you ready to Rise?